買樓 November, almost a flat

29歲半。第一次認真考慮買樓。

In November, I almost bought a flat.

I’d thought of moving out before, but it has never really crossed my mind to actually buy a flat. Buying a flat presumes stable income.

What happened was that since my grandmother passed away, my grandfather has been living with different members of the family. First he lived with us, now that he has permanently moved to live with my uncle Wai in mainland China, my aunts and uncles decided that we might as well put his flat on the market.

Obviously, with my current income as a freelance theatre practitioner, there’s no way that I’d be able to buy a place on the Hong Kong market without family intervention. Not without getting into serious long-term debt, and that’s something I don’t want to do.

聽一個風水佬說過: 「當你欠別人債務，你的運氣就與他們聯繫起來。」雖然我不是個迷信的人，但總覺得這番話有點道理。如果我欠人東西 (無論是錢還是人情) ，就算平日不想它，債務都會遺留在下意識。思想就是一種能量，我和「債權人」除了金錢上有牽連，還有能量上的牽連。

Granddad’s flat is in Tai Wai, an old 唐樓on the 7/F. with high ceilings. As I hadn’t been there for at least five of six years, I went to look at the flat with Victor. It was late afternoon when we went, when the flat (with its western windows) was really at its most charismatic. The flat was bigger than I remembered, probably because whenever we used to visit阿爺 阿嫲 the place would be full of extended family, all crowded around the mahjong table that would get turned into a dinner table. Location wise, it’s ideal, and it overlooks some greenery on the far side.

I thought, if I had this flat, it would make bringing friends over to collaborate so much easier – I’d only have to worry about the plane ticket, instead of both the plane ticket and accommodation.

In the end, I didn’t buy it. Despite it being family, the conditions of sale were beyond what I was ready to commit to. And it really made me realize how – while on one hand I’m ready to commit to more stability than I ever have before in my life, on the other hand there are things which I am not ready to give up just for the sake of a flat. I’m unwilling at this point in my life, for example, to give up my happy balance of theatre, teaching and tai chi.

It’s a sudden, odd feeling of lightness.
I’ve suddenly become aware of things that would become more challenging once if and when I do commit myself to a regular mortgage. For example, it’d take a lot more planning to spend half a year in Poland on a project that had next-to-no pay. Or if I got arrested for civil disobedience and was tied up with the legal proceedings, at the very least, I wouldn’t have the additional worry of paying off the mortgage.

師傅常說我下盤弱，不能相信我學太極這麼多年，推手還會這麼容易給他推倒。近日我開始懷疑除了自己懶惰之餘 (低馬真是一樣吃力的東西) ， 是否我心理上未準備「墜澱」下來。

最有趣的是, 當我看二十多年前拍我們一家的鏗鏘集(紀錄片), 發覺爸爸二十年前走起路來十分像我現今「彈吓彈吓」的步伐。人大了，是否會穩定下來?