Day One, the Draffin workshop

Wow. I'm physically exhausted.
Not so much actually from the workshop itself, but from the Contact improv performance plus the six hour workshop, plus tai chi in the evening. So it's been a full day of moving.

On the bus to Cattle Depot I was thinking: it's pretty incredible to think that for the next month I will be back at school, 7 hours a day. I am really not in that space yet. And then I feel asleep on the 75X.

What was meant to be a transition week between all that intensive summer teaching and the month long physical theatre intensive turned out to be a busy week. A week where I managed somehow to sleep less than my busy summer. I was on creative juice; brainstorming, leaping, flinging e-mails back and forth cyberspace with Dan Finkel in preparation for our January performance... tentatively entitled Concrete Jungle... a name that took us all week to brainstorm. A two paragraph blurb that took us a couple of days to write:

Concrete Jungle is a piece for seven people on the absurdity of city life. It chorus – whose role in ancient Greek theatre was to witness, forewarn, and give voice to the populace - somehow manage to endure the rush hour crowds, hazy office hours, cut-throat deadlines to let their imaginations run berserk in the city.

Devastatingly observant, comically insane, and rampant with emotion, Concrete Jungle is a dance-theatre piece that celebrates our ability to be creative and courageous in an efficient world.

* * *

It's been a tough week. One of those weeks where I think, Why on earth am I even in the performing arts? Does it really make me a better person?

It's just been a week of let downs:
(a) Despite all that proposal writing with the slender hope that Jacqueline could persuade her boss at the Fringe, it came to no avail. The Fringe is still reserving the place for its festival, and we are still venue-less for the show.

(b) Having the five person section I was responsible for turn out to be somewhat disastrous... partly yes, it is my fault, for not making clear that I really wanted to be facilitator, not director; but also just hurt by the lack of respect performers have for a piece of work... that people feel that it's ok to cancel without warning or show up half an hour late without apology.

(c) A dissatisfaction with my own performance on Sunday
Overarticulated. Too adrenaline-pumped by an audience. I can sense how tense my neck was during the video. Was seduced by the camera clicking away. The scary thing is, it felt ok during the performance; I felt that there was a clear connection between me and 文偉. So the connection and feelings were real, but the form that came out was a bit elaborated.

(Incidentally, the rehearsal period with 文偉 was lovely. Just felt like we worked hard and I couldn't deliver in the 尾聲.)

* * *

On the bus to Cattle Depot I think.. I am tired of fighting.
I have been pushing too hard this week. I need to step back and listen. To take in the space. To take in the reactions of my partner.
I know how to do it... but sometimes, I don't. So I have to check it, and re-connect.

So it was with these feelings and aching muscles that I went into the Draffin workshop. And the first thing we did as a group was to clean the studio. What a lovely ritual.

There is not yet anything devastatingly new in what we have been doing in the workshop, but what is important, I think, is actually a return for me to the grounding basics or theatre presence and listening. We did a lot of stamping, some walking meditation, some 聽勁...

Draffin didn't let me get away with my mopeyness and weariness either. He gave everyone in the workshop individual feedback on the listening/following judo 聽勁.. where he asked me, "Are you strong?"
"Um," I said, unready for this question.
"Are you strong?"
"Um. It's relative, I guess."
No, he wouldn't let me get away with that. In fact, near the end of the day he picked on me.
It's nice to know that there is someone who doesn't let you get away with stuff like that. But god, I am tired. Physically today. Mentally, emotionally I am ok now. But physically - wow. I am knackered.

This workshop is very good for me, in the sense that it directly addresses my work, not as a director, not as an arts administrator, but as a performer. "Theatre is about human beings" says Draffin... and yes, the performer is the line of contact. The director is only a guide. And that's why I got into theatre - because I do believe there is something very powerful about live performance, and is not reproducible in other mediums. And so it's good that I get back in touch with my capacity for this.

Well, here we are. It's 6:32am... and it's another brand new day ahead of me. Back to work. Time to get on the minibus... clean the studio...

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links: Robert Draffin workshop with On and On Theatre