Renewal (ii)

In my busyness, food has taken on a new importance. I want an orange juice, I think on the bus to work. And how wonderful… to want an orange juice, and know that this craving can be satisfied.

Before rehearsal, and somewhat dazed from all that teaching, I go to a restaurant in the basement of Times Square and order some vegetable buns. Perhaps you remember the last time we were here, I write to Jacek, It was quiet here today. I ordered a蒸籠 of three buns and the portion was exactly the size I wanted. You know that feeling when you finish eating and it feels “just-right”… neither too much nor too little? So satisfying!

Under the florescent lighting of my classroom, greenery ahs taken on a new significance. I brought two plants in the office to keep me company. The kids are delighted by the cactus rose, but I find the leafy green one bubbling with energy. It has a very clear life-force, and when I look at it I am reminded of mine.

Grotowski used to used to schedule the work-sessions at night, so that his actors would be really tired, so tired that they would have to find a way to reach past all of that, and find a new source of energy. In my busyness, I too am needing to find new sources of energy. This week has been about meeting three classes of new students, and building a rapport with them. Next week my focus will shift to the show, it opens on Friday night.

I find myself very focused; in the sense of dropping extravenous things. I gp to hands-on healing, I don’t care about being social – I have been social all day with my students. I just sit down and connect to the source. And so it is a matter of connecting, regulating and being gentle with oneself. Work with me, I murmur to my body. Yes, I hear that your knees hurt. What I can do for you?